Makayla's birthday Graphic

16 February 2007
Posted by Mother Faerie @ Friday, February 16, 2007

Here's Makayla's birthday greeting :)

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Trudy and Thurley

Posted by Mother Faerie @ Friday, February 16, 2007

I got this back about two months after I sent it out. Enclosed is my girls Christmas picture. I sent this to Thurley, who was more endearing to me as Mim or Mimi growing up. Now she's just another person. She's no longer my Mim or my mimi.

Years ago, and I mean a couple of years ago my step sister Trudy and I was in a discussion. We were talking about another sister of ours, Melody or Melanie, whom I have never met. I don't know the whole story behind Mel. I'm not sure who her mother is. I don't know what her last name is. I just know that like Trudy, Billy, Joey she is another 1/2 sib. Anyways after my father died it came to my knowledge that I have another half brother. Ervin is my half brother. It's all great and dandy. I knew Ervin all my life. He was my cousin. My aunt Pricilla's, my mom's sister's, son. I love Auntie Pricilla and I always enjoyed Ervin as my cousin. Just because I found out that Ervin is also my brother never bothered me. If anything I wanted to talk to him as a brother, know his as a brother, but growing up as cousins, may prevent that from happening. We were never close as cousins anyways.

But in my discussion with Trudy I told her there's also Ervin as our half brother. She refused to believe it. I said that's fine and dandy, but it's true. I told her it doesn't change how I feel about Daddy.

I loved my father very much. He gave me the best in life. He put me through college, he bought me my first car. He was always around while I was growing up. He had his issues. He was an alcoholic for one and perhaps that's why we have extra sibs. I don't know. I don't know the whole story behind my father's life. Because I'm the "sensitive" one. No one ever told me anything. Whatever. It's all good and dandy. I have my memories of Dad. The majority of them are wonderful memories of riding on his motorcycle with him, him teaching me how to drive, and how very proud he was of me finishing school, something he never did himself.

Anyways Thurley was my dad's first wife. I don't know how long they were together. I really don't care. He later married my mother. And they were married my entire life through thick and thin they survived. I was raised to love my mim and I was just as excited as going to see mim as I was to go see anyone else in my family. Mim always said we were good to her when we didn't need to be. It's true, but our feelings were not pulled out of thin air. I did love mim like a grandma.

Anyways Trudy decided that I was lying and that all of my mother's family on her side was lying about Ervin. He was definitely not daddy's child. I told her to believe what she wants. She said I was slinging Daddy's name through the mud now that he was dead. I said whether daddy was alive or not, Ervin was our brother and it didn't make Daddy a bad person. That it didn't change my opinion or memories of Daddy.

Trudy then went into "you are no longer my sister, family or blood" thing. Whatever. Her loss. I never liked Trudy. Trudy was the most abusive person I knew. She was emotionally battering. If she could jab her finger into me any harder and twist at any opportunity she did. Mind you Trudy is older than my mother... so she really should know better... right? She used to make fun of me as an overweight child. She would jab and jab and jab. So you can see why I never really liked her. But whether or not I liked her I did love her because she was after all my sister. I respected her all that time because she was family. I used to go to art classes with Trudy and even though I was quite artistic on my own, she would paint over my shoulder onto my work and she would even jab there when she could. I started to despise art at that time of my life.

Anyways Trudy is Trudy. She's just Trudy. She's a stuck up snot, always thinks she's better than everyone else and that's forever how I'll remember her. So she thinks that I slung daddy's name through the mud. Whatever.

I love you, Daddy. And I'm publishing this to the world. Daddy, you're forever in my heart and I love you for everything you were. The bad with the good. I know that you are proud of me and loved me very much. You have three very gorgeous grandbabies that I know you are looking down from heaven with happy tears and always keeping an eye on. I know that you'd be very proud to know that each one of your grand daughters are smart and doing so well in school. Makayla is a straight A student and is in the talented and gifted program. She just received awards from the state of Kansas for her exceptional testing in math and reading. You'd be so proud of her only in the fourth grade reading at sixth grade level and doing eighth grade level math! You'd be so proud of Hana who is well loved and enjoyed by all the kids in her class. How proud you'd be of her of how well she's learning how to read. I know you'd kid around with her about the two of you "gumming" your food as she's missing her two top front teeth. You'd tell her that she'd be no use to you with no teeth to chew your food. LOL. And you'd be so proud of your baby girl, Amaya. She's doing great in school, but still quite the baby as well. She'd always give you a laugh and smile being the baby girl. I know you'd be proud of me and full of love for me and my girls, Because that's how you were.

So Trudy and Thurley: You can take the truth and do what you want. You can say all you want but my daddy knows how much I love him. No matter where he went wrong in his life, he knows that I have true acceptance for him and all his doings and I have forgiveness for him completely. And I know that Daddy loves me and is proud of me.

So you want to live on in life in misery, hold onto grudges, sling my name in the mud, go for it. You are only making yourself look miserable. Enjoy life. I've learned to let go. You can learn some great lessons still from my father. You just need to learn to open your hearts up first.

Your loss in knowing my girls, daddy's granddaughters. They are the best. So smart and beautiful and everything Daddy would love about them. They'll know Daddy for who he is truly. The bestest Grandpa, even though he can't be here to hold them or to watch them through their childhood, he'll forever be in their hearts.

So grow up already ladies. Get over yourselves, and put your negative energies into something more worthwhile.

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Some new pictures of the girls

Posted by Mother Faerie @ Friday, February 16, 2007

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Post-Endometrial Ablation

15 February 2007
Posted by Mother Faerie @ Thursday, February 15, 2007

So yesterday was the big day and I think it went relatively well :) I'll post out the whole story for those who are waiting to go in for theirs so they have a good understanding of what goes on :)

I woke up way too early yesterday. It was nerves. Showered and shaved and was squeaky clean. Wore loose baggy clothing like I was told to do.

I bummed around with the kids most of the morning, my mom showed up, she was babysitting.

My husband took me to the hospital and was promptly bored. I had two hours of prep time before the surgery. The surgery was a little over an hour and then an hour in recovery phase 1 and then I was moved to recovery phase 2 where dh was waiting again.

In preps they took blood and urine. They test to make sure you are not anemic or pregnant. I saw my doctor and two different anesthesiologists. I met my nurse who would be caring for me when I came out of the surgery.

They started my IV about an hour before surgery. About 1/2 hr from surgery they gave me a long acting (8 hr) pain med. Then before they wheeled me into OR they gave me something to make me sleepy and relaxed. It made me really dopey and set me into a fit of giggles. They put the oxygen mask on me mixed with gas and told me to take some nice deep breaths and before I knew it I was out.

They performed a hysteroscopy, a D and C, and the free flowing Heated thermal ablation.

I woke up an hour and 20 minutes later. The worse feeling through the whole thing was the super super dry mouth, sore throat from the tube that saved your air way. I couldn't talk. But when I woke up I definitely wasn't expecting the amount of pain that I actually was in :*( I signed "pain" over my belly and thank goodness the nurse knew the sign . She got me some good injections but was honest and told me that they probably wouldn't do much for the cramping. She was right, they only got turned down a notch. She became my best friend right away when she started spooning me ice chips. Ahhh! relief! but they were obviously not spooned fast enough! heh. This hour they took blood pressure and temp and watched the monitors. Also gave me several doses of morphine and intervals. After an hour they moved me to phase two. Dh was waiting for me and it was good to see him :)

They brought in pepsi and grahm crackers. I had choices though but thought the soda would help with the dryness faster...but it doesn't. It just burned and tasted gross. The crackers are miserably dry for the already dry throat. So in the end I asked for more ice water, lots of ice. At this point they offered me a percocet and I took it. After that kicked in (about 20 minutes) I told them I was ready to go. I got dressed and it was all good. They wheeled me to the car.

As soon as I got home, the nausea caught up with me and I vomited. I went and laid down and dh woke me up about 30 minutes later for some soup. This settled nicely in my belly and I went back to sleep. He woke me up a couple hours later to take deep breaths and cough (important particularly for me as I have severe asthma). He gave me another pain pill and I slept for the night.

Through it all though, the pain never got higher than an 8 out of 10. But I fear pain, so keep that in mind while I talk about it.

The bleeding was minimal. After surgery I soaked maybe a 1/3 of the huge pad. Once I was moved to phase 2 the pad was only spotted. I got a new pad before leaving and I wore that one all night. Again it was only spotted. It was mostly a light apple juice in color and spotted with blood.

I woke up this morning and I feel really good I'm starving but I don't want to over do it. So I'm trying to decide on what I want to eat. I feel really good. I have mild cramps. My throat is very sore though. I'm scared of trying another throat drop (un-medicated) though because I think that's what set me off into my vomiting fit last night.

I'm taking it easy through monday, when I'm due to go back to work.

So far I'll say it's been worth it if I can see an improvement to my monthlies. I'll keep you all updated, but for now I'm going back to bed because I had an awesome doctor that told my husband I need all the rest I can get through the weekend :) :)

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Happy Birthday Amaya

11 February 2007
Posted by Mother Faerie @ Sunday, February 11, 2007

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Five years ago Today...

Posted by Mother Faerie @ Sunday, February 11, 2007

Five Years ago I gave birth to my baby girl Amaya! Amaya was a scheduled c-section for valentines day, but because I was having asthma problems they called me the day before the 11th five years ago to tell me that they had an opening and to go on in! I arrived to the hospital before 7 and they prepped me. By 9 I was in the O.R. My doctor was a little late, but at 9:40 ish they pulled out a baby girl who had a thumb in her mouth that they had to pull out to get her to cry and who then proceeded to pee down my doctors arm! I got an announcement that "the bladder work, it's a girl, and she likes her thumb!" They held her up for a bit longer to get her crying better as she was slow to start. The nurse brought her around to show me and then over to the warmer.

She was my tiniest baby by far. She weighed in at 6 lbs 14oz and before leaving the hospital dropped to 5 lbs 15 oz. Despite the weight loss, they never pushed supplementation with her at all. It seemed like they finally got it :)

By quarter past I was in recovery and less than an hour from her birth I was able to nurse her. Shortly after I got her into my arms they ushered in my husband and Makayla and Hana and they got to meet their baby sister! :)

Amaya nursed like a pro from day one. I never got engorged or sore. It was by far the easiest of my nursing relationships.

Anyways that's when she graced my life and she's been a doll since. She's the most easiest going kid who feels the need to be dramatic only once in a while.

She loves puppies and kittie, Dora and LPS. She's my big girl now!

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